He is ruining my life! An update several months in the making- I needed evidence!

I apologize for my lack of posts. My life has been ruined and it has taken some time reorient myself. My Mistresses have also kept me away from their computers these last several months. 

They finally did it, the Mistresses made good on their promise of me getting a little brother, and Aunty Chris was the one who instigated the transaction. His name is Thorin Oakenshield- he'll never live up to the name- and of the orange tabby variety. They brought him home around Christmas/ Yule, making my winter season when I should have been curled up basking in the warmth of the fire and communing with the fire demons, a living nightmare.

Sure, he looks cute, but he bites, chases me, won't keep to his own food dish, and barely leaves me alone. Did I mention he is disgusting? Or that his poop stinks?! He can't even cover his litter box leavings properly. 

Here he was trying to push me out of MY bed.

He follows me to all my favorite sleeping spots.

He won't leave me alone when I am on MY tower.

And I have to clean him because he hardly does it himself. He's not even a proper cat. He plays fetch like a dog! It's embarrassing. Did I mention he's an attention hog? Every time people come over he rubs against them. He certainly does it to the Mistresses, he won't even let them walk through the house. Normally I wouldn't care about the latter, but when I am out of food and they are trying to get it to me, I DO.

This was the most sophisticated he's ever been and it didn't last.

He makes me look awful and yell, which is most unladylike. Here I was trying to help Mistress Kohana by keeping her company and he wouldn't stop being a brat. 

Thankfully, it has been a few months and he is getting older. Although it pains me to say this, I am hoping that will my tutelage, he will calm the fuck down and start acting like a proper cat. I need my beauty sleep. I need all the attention when it is due and need him to leave my food dish alone!

The Vanity and Monsters in my House.

To those who replied to my last post:

Aunt Chris: Thank you, I enjoy being loved. When will you be bringing more treats?

Aunt Christine H: Why yes, I am rather cute. 

Mistress Kohana has a vanity table in the bedroom where she keeps all manner of lovely things.  Some things smell awful, some interesting, and some very nice. Mostly, I enjoy laying atop it, preventing her from putting on her make up or dishing out the nightly round of pills, so she can worship me. I've even taken a liking to being especially pampered with makeup- although Mistress Kohana only leaves it on me a few moments- not sure why, I look fabulous. I love the feeling of her make up brushes and even have one of my very own. I have also claimed a purple comb that is used to brush my beautiful fur. When no one is looking, I sometimes steal one of those pins my Mistresses put in their hair, or the round stretchy things that holds them up. They make the best toys as do the Q-tips. 

Gentle readers, there is something amiss in my house. My Mistresses have been in deliberation about me getting a little brother or sister. I have, as of yet, to see them produce such a thing. But more worrisome is that monsters seem to have moved in. In fact, I rather think they have taken up residence in my Mistresses. I try to take care of them, since they are sick, by keeping my distance, by making sure that no foul outside creature or human crosses our paito unchecked. But how am I to protect against foes within my own walls? The Mistresses cough and then the monsters rage, making them cough up some vile green goo or spit. It is disgusting and the noises are awful. I simply refuse to get close or give them attention until they dispel those creatures within. 

Thoughts on nicknames...

When the Mistresses bought a new couch and ottoman, the ottoman is mine.

Meow, 

There seems to be a running trend among my Mistress' family and friends of giving me nicknames. Mistress Amanda's father called me "Narcisa A. Frog" because I do what any self respecting cat does which is to pounce on prey. Mistress Amanda calls me "Cisa" and "Cisal". She's damaged that one. Mistress Kohana also calls me "Cisa" and sometimes "Narcisa-bat" or "Cisa-bat" To say she has issues would be insufficient. Do I look like a bat to you? 

The shortening of my name to "Cisa" seems to have stuck. Aunt Rachel calls me "Cisa-Lee" and Aunt Tsuki calls me "Cisa-B" or "Cisa-Bianca" when she's really annoyed. Where she came up with BiancaI will never know. Aunt Chris, who thankfully doesn't believe I get nearly enough treats, just calls me "Cisa". 

But why, gentle readers, why? What is the point of a name if no one uses it correctly? What is the point of a nickname if no one can agree on the right one or even what animal you are? 

Thoughts?

Purrs and blessings, 

Narcisa.